Peeps, Peep This!

A Lap-Band to Duodenal Switch, Weight Loss Surgery, Chronicle

August 2012 Labs August 10, 2012

I have been battling this high PTH thing for some time and have been on a regimen of Vitamin D and Calcium for over a year now. I’ve seen an Endocrinologist and had a DEXA which was normal. Nobody can seem to figure out why the PTH keeps climbing so I am going to hit up my DS buddies to see what they have to offer. They’ve suggested it may be that the Dr. is giving me D2 which we don’t absorb and if I add dry D3 I would see better results. Basically high PTH is my body leaching the calcium it needs from my bones. So this needs to be remedied quickly obviously. I have attached my labs to show my other areas. I’m doing well everywhere except this it seems.   Labs_Updated_Aug_2012_Vites         Labs_Updated_Aug_2012

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New Labs Posted May 24, 2011

Hi my lovely readers,

I had my 18 month labs done and have a few areas of concern. I’ll be seeing my surgeon on June 1st to discuss them. Most notable is my high levels of ferratin now; they were single digits before and not are 371 or so. I’m told this is good. My PTH is high and my calcium too and my research online says this may be why I feel tired all the time so we’ll chat more about that at our appointment. I’ll write back after I get the specifics of what this all means. I’ve added an image here which is from my spreadsheet where I keep track of my results so you can see how easily they fluctuate and why it’s so important to stay on top of things.

Peace.

Mandy

 

Weight Gain February 8, 2011

Filed under: Life — weestepn @ 6:57 pm

Okay, so yes it’s been a really long time since I been on here but my last postings, to refresh my memory as well as yours, were about me feeling confused and frustrated with shopping and such with generally how my new size 2 was a pain. I continued to search for stores that carried professional looking clothing in the size 2 but wasn’t having any luck and plus, as I mentioned before, my tail bone dug into the tub and blah blah blah. So I decided rather than working with it, I’d set out to gain back the weight I’d lost (pre hernia surgery) since that was a good healthy weight and one that allowed for easy shopping, fullness in my face, etc. So I am happy to report that I have since last post gained about 10 lbs. It’s been a mixed bag. All of the above things are much easier (funny how a teeny 10 lbs can do that huh?) but I am really wrestling with my inner voice. That former fat girl voice is raging telling me how fat my thighs are and so on. It’s so crazy because I have to always be bringing myself back to ground zero; reality by counteracting these thoughts. Those folks that says weight loss doesn’t fix everything are SO right. I have lost a ton of weight but still struggle with seeing myself as fat even if you’re not anymore. I’ve been eating with abandon and it’s been nice although I’ve had quite a few tummy aches along the way because of course I’m eating things that don’t agree with the new plumbing but the process has been great. =) Now I am about 122 -ish pounds and a size 4 and looking to stay in this range. My face is fuller which gives a more youthful look (round cheeks anyone?) and my clothes are fitting nicely again with some shape to my breasts, rear end and thighs again. Overall I’m pretty happy with it but trying to always keep in mind that I’m not fat and that I can stop pigging now because otherwise the weight gain will continue in which case we’ll have a problem…..an unwanted problem. Don’t want to undue all the hard work I’ve done. Just thought I’d update you all. Hope your holidays were fantastic and that you are realizing your dreams. Me, I’m taking it 1 day at a time. 😉

Peace and love.

Mandy

 

Why So Complicated? December 6, 2010

Filed under: Life — weestepn @ 8:09 pm

Venting of epic proportions commences:

Today my mind is buzzing like mad about my weight. I have been working on losing weight since 2004 and have steadily chipped away and to date have lost 126 lbs (thanks DS). This may seem like great news and on some page it is. I started in 2004 at 240 and am now 114 lbs. I wear a size 0 at New York & Co. and Old Navy but undercover investigations have shown they lie about their sizes. That said, I am firmly a size 2 in pretty much anything else; jeans included.

Good news? Kinda. For someone who has been heavy, you develop this “be as thin as possible before it all comes back” attitude. However, I want to put a few pounds on. People comment constantly about my weight and how bony I am. So partly I want to gain because of this but also because it is hard to shop at this size. When I was heavier I used to think that if I were thin I would be able to wear anything I wanted and the world of fashion was for thin people. As a heavy person I couldn’t find anything stylish to wear to save my life but now that nearly 80% of the population is overweight or obese there are cute styles in plus sizes everywhere it seems. On the flip side, at a size 2 I struggle. Seems I can’t get away from the problems with clothes. Nakedness for all! JK. I look all over for dress clothes for work and had a terrible time the other day. All the cheap, cute suits were sizes 6 & 8. I could go to petite and found a few there but the length was an issue. The pants and skirts were too short. So needless to say shopping hasn’t been fun like I imagined it to be.

Another major drawback is sex. If this is too much information, change the channel now please. =) When my husband (who thinks I’m too thin as it is) rubs his hands on my body (legs, hips, etc.) I can feel how bony and angular it has become. It makes me feel gross. Baths are crappy because my shoulder blades and spine and tail bone all dig into the bottom of the tub. It is not comfortable and thus not relaxing as it is meant to be.

As you can see I have lost too much or at least I feel this is so. Not to mention how expensive this has been having to overhaul my wardrobe constantly.

Okay so that’s why I think I’m too thin and need to gain some weight; 10 lbs or so maybe 15. That’d put me in a size 6-ish. So I’ve been eating with abandon trying to put on this weight. I am starting to see any increase (about 4 lbs). It may not seem like much but on my frame it’s a small sum. Enough to make my size 2’s feel snug. Which brings me to the whole reason for today’s entry.

I feel fat! WTH? I am so disappointed in myself and can’t believe I feel this way. I am embarrassed to say it. I have been saying I am too thin and I want to put some weight on but I feel gross when I look at myself and now that I’m starting to gain a bit. I am sick of the negative comments from people and the difficulty shopping so why do I feel so gross at only a 4 lb gain? I saw in on the scale and felt sad and worried instead of happy like I should have. I guess deep down I am worried about getting heavy again or something I’m not sure. I know rationally it’s nothing and that I have room to gain and even should but deep down I feel fat. I feel my fat roll hanging over my now snug size 2 and have been tugging at my shirt all day long as it clings to me (at least mentally I feel this clinging). I know it’s really stupid and I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I do. I have to overcome this though so I can get up to a size 6 or so to give me more fashion choices and shut people up and have more fullness in my now hollow and angular face. They say fullness in the face adds youth and hollowness adds years which I believe.

Please don’t misconstrue this entry as a girl who dieted her way to too thin and now has some sort of disorder. Anyone who knows me and sees me daily knows this is not the case. I was happily maintaining at my 130’s weight and felt fine before my hernia surgery but then lost quite a bit with that and a tough recovery and now that I’m lighter it’s like my scared, fat girl wants to stay there when rationally I know it’s not good. There’s that part of me that says just let it play out and when your body adjust a bit to the DS and you have to work a bit harder to maintain like I’ve read about folks having to do you’ll be thankful for the extra room but really I do long for the padding of the 130’s. Clothes fit better and I look more lady like and less like a child/teenager. I had an easier time shopping as this is a commonly found size and people weren’t always saying how thin I look and how “you can never be too thin or too rich but you really need to stop it now” like I did this on purpose. Without spilling my business to folks who don’t need to know it I just let them think what they will but I can’t say it doesn’t bother me. People think I’m starving myself and that pisses me off although I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s my time of the month or something because I feel like emotions are running high and I’m all over the map. Anyhow, I feel cruddy and need to shake it and just wanted to document and share this mix of emotion because people (including me in earlier days) think that weight is the pinnacle to everything and if they could only be thin their life would be tops when this has never been the case for me. I’m a thin person now but still struggling with feelings of self loathing and the fat girl mentality. Venting concludes. Move on. Thanks for listening.

Mandy

 

1 Year DS Surgeriversary December 1, 2010

Filed under: WLS — weestepn @ 3:20 pm

Today is December 1, 2010 and my 1 year anniversary for my DS surgery. I’m below goal right now because of my hernia surgery a few months ago but prior to that I was at goal by 6 months out. I was considered a light weight to begin with since I was at only 200 lbs when I had my surgery so that explains why I was at goal in 6 months time. I know I’m in the easy part of the losing phase and know I will have to work a bit harder in the coming years as my body adjusts to the malabsorption (sp?) but right now I’m really enjoying that I don’t have to watch what I eat. I don’t count carbs and only get minor issues from sugar and flour. In combination they are terrible for me but alone not too terribly bad. This has been super easy as the DS has been doing most of the work. The recovery in the beginning was really rough don’t get me wrong and I’ve struggled with my iron levels but other than that I’m super healthy and loving life. I hope you are all having a great day and if you are researching the DS or a revision from Lap Band to DS please feel free to contact me! Peace and blessings.

Mandy

 

Feeling Much Better October 28, 2010

Filed under: Hernia Surgery — weestepn @ 7:52 pm
Tags: , , ,

So the first few weeks after my hernia surgery I was freaking out about losing so much weight because I had a rough first few weeks after. I wasn’t eating much and was losing like 2 lbs a day which for my current weight wasn’t a good thing. I’ve since been able to pick up the eating and am leveled off. I am holding steady at 115 which is a bit thinner than I want to be so I’m trying to put some back on and not really loving the process. I’ve added in more carb type foods which generally upset my tummy but are mostly absorbed so I pretty much have a tummy ache all the time; not a terrible one but enough to annoy. I am feeling and looking better though. The 1st week back to work (9 days out of surgery) I can’t tell you how many shocked faces and comments I got on my appearance and all negative. “You look so gaunt” and “OMG, what happened to you?”. Funny thing though is that I’ve only put on a few pounds and people are like you look so much better like I was 20 lbs lighter or something. I think it had to do with how dehydrated I was and my skin had that tired texture and sagged and the yellow tone that comes with exhaustion and sickness. So now  I have color and stuff back and my skin has puckered back up with the hydration.

Overall I’m feeling better. Working on adding energy each day and also taking a supplement called Eleuthero that has really, really helped with that. The only lingering issue is the slight pulling in the incision area when I sit for long periods and then stand and stretch it out. That will take some getting used to. Also, I’ve been trying to rub Vitamin E oil on my incision and massage it a bit because I can feel lumps of scar tissue forming underneath. Other than that though going pretty good. The stitches are all on the inside so no strange railroad dots this time! Woo hoo!

Side Note: while I’m here I might as well give a quick iron update. After my last infusion in August I went from a ferritin level of 4 or so to just over 100. Dr. L said he wants it in the 200’s at least so I just finished my 2nd round. This time though I did the Fereheme (sp?) instead of the Venofur. This kind you do 1 round each week for 2 weeks compared to 5 days in a row. Plus, it’s like an IV push so it’s super fast; it’s not a drip like the other one. I’ll get my iron checked again in December for my 1 year DS surgeriversary but I suspect things will be good. I’m still taking the prescription iron , Ferrax, which will keep my levels normally ranged hopefully.

No other news to report. Feeling and doing well. Tired but working on it; that’s what you get for having 3 major surgeries in 2 years time. 😉

Take care of yourselves and talk soon.

Mandy

 

Need to Gain Weight After Hernia Repair Surgery September 28, 2010

Filed under: Hernia Surgery — weestepn @ 2:40 pm
Tags: , ,

This is a post I made to obesityhelp.com which explains what I’m dealing with right now. As you can see my dear reader I’m a bit worried. I’m not that chick that wants to be as skinny as possible. Too thin adds years to your face and I’m not liking what I’m seeing these days. 😦 Keep you in the loop when I get feedback and hopefully a way to add a bit of weight. Never thought I’d say that! ~Mandy

“Hi folks, I was holding steady near 130 which was a good weight for me until I had my hernia surgery nearly 2 weeks ago. I’ve dropped 10 lbs since then and am way too thin. People are commenting all the time about how skinny I am and how bony I look and my hubby has commented that I need to put on about 10 or 15 and to be honest, I never thought I’d say this, but he’s right. I look sickly and hate it. My face is very thin and bony (always has been even when I was heavier so now it’s way worse) and I’ve always been narrow in the shoulders so I look super tiny. I’m wearing a size 2 in dress clothes and a 4 in jeans. I want to be thin of course but not so thin I look ill which is the case right now. This surgery really took it out of me and my weight plummeted. Pre-DS I’d know how to add some weight but I’m not sure how to do it now. I have heard some people say weight loss slows down at some point and it gets harder to maintain your weight and you have to be stricter with your diet so since I’m coming up on a year out I wondered if I should just let it ride and let it be my bumper for when this happens but I’m also somewhat panicked when I look at the scale. My skin is literally hanging off me in some places (sorry kinda gross I know) so I don’t know how to gain some lbs. Any ideas here for this or should I just wait it out? As always thanks for your feedback.”